


Ohmigod You Guys

by CausticCouture



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, Hartmon, Law School AU, Legally Blonde AU, M/M, OCs as neccessary, based partially on movie partially on musical, crack pairings everywhere, just no bearance on the acutal plot of the series whatsoever, other relationships are background
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2018-07-29 10:05:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7680229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CausticCouture/pseuds/CausticCouture
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Cisco's pre-law boyfriend Barry breaks up with him for "not being serious enough," Cisco realizes there's only one way to get him back: enroll in Harvard Law. Along the way, he comes into his own as a "serious" student, and is tasked with proving the innocence of THE Harrison Wells in the trial of the century.<br/>AKA: THE LEGALLY BLONDE AU NOBODY ASKED FOR!!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Guys, I have a problem. But once I had the idea, the story started writing itself as I started to cast it, and well, here we are! This is a work in progress, and I have at best a tentative outline of trial related stuff because that's where it departs from the movie the greatest, so updates may be infrequent.

"Ohmigod you guys!" Cisco yelled to his best friends, Charles and Erik. Truthfully, he didn't need to yell; the apartment was small enough that a whisper would suffice.

"What?" the other two responded in unison. They would be a cute couple, Cisco always thought. But they were both straight; Erik even had an on again off again relationship with a quite strange pre-med student, Maggie.

"Look at this text!" Cisco practically threw his phone at the other two.

_Barry: I need to see you soon. Dinner at Chez Pamplemousse 2nite? 6ish?_

"Aw, you two are so sweet it's sickening," Charles commented.

"You don't understand!" Cisco exclaimed. "He's going to propose!"

The other two responded with a simultaneous "WHAT".

"How can you be so sure?" Erik commented.

"Well, we've been dating since freshman year, we're about to graduate, I heard from Lydia that he called his grandmother and asked for her ring, AND Chez P for dinner tonight? C'mon, what else could it be?"

"Hey man, congratulations!" "So we're going to be your best men, right?" Charles and Erik responded. Cisco squealed excitedly.

"Ohmigod you guys, it's already four! I need to get ready!" He slammed his bedroom door behind him, excited for what was sure to be the best night of his life.

* * *

 

And so Cisco and Barry sat down to dinner at Chez Pamplemousse, the ritziest restaurant in Central City, ready for their life changing dinner.

Barry smiled, ordering the finest champagne on the menu. After pleasant small talk, the waiter came by with drinks and appetizers. Barry's demeanor suddenly became more serious, as if he came in with a purpose. "So, I think we both know why we're here tonight."

Cisco smiled in return. "Oh, we do."

Barry looked relieved. "Really? Well then, I'll cut to the chase." He leaned over and took Cisco's hands in his. "I just think-"

"Oh, Barry, YES!"

"-that we should see other people."

Stunned silence, then "WHAT?"

Barry shifted uncomfortabally. "It's just, if I want to be a senator by the time I'm thirty..."

"YOU'RE BREAKING UP WITH ME BECAUSE WE'RE GAY?"

"Cisco, please, settle down, people are staring. And I don't care about that; if the people can't see past my sexuality, than that's on them. But if I want to be a senator by the time I'm thirty, I need a... y'know, there aren't a lot of male spouses of politicians to make a good comparison here. But how would it look if the First Spouse ran off from an engagement because there was a Blastoise in the parking lot, or whatever fad you'll be keeping up with then?"

Cisco was outraged. First, he wasn't proposed to, and now, this? "WHAT THE HELL IS _THAT_ SUPPOSED TO MEAN!"

Barry tried to grow smaller in his chair. The entire restaurant was staring at them. "I just... need someone a bit more serious."

"I can't believe this!" Cisco huffed, throwing his napkin out of his lap and storming out. He wasn't just going to sit there and take one insult after another.

"Babe, wait," Barry pleaded. He looked desperately for a waiter; the evening was over, might as well pay the bill.

* * *

The weeks after the breakup were the worst in Cisco's life. He barely left his bed. He would eat, on occasion, but he would do so alone, barely making contact with anyone in the kitchen. He would only play video games and watch endless chintzy romances. The only words anyone would hear from him were the occasional "LIAR!" in response to whichever leading man promised to love the leading woman until the end of time.

Charles and Erik were understandably worried about their friend.

"Knock-knock," Charles said one afternoon, cracking open Cisco's door. He rolled away from the forced socialization.

"We made you breakfast," Erik said, pushing a bowl through the crack. "Fruit Loops, your favorite." Cisco rolled towards the other two.

"Fine. Come in."

Charles and Erik entered as a unit, and sat on the foot of Cisco's bed.

"You can't keep living like this, so we're going out today. You need sun; it makes you happy because of science. Or something; I only understand what Maggie says half the time." Erik commented, putting the bowl of cereal on Cisco's bedside table.

"Besides," Charles chimed, "people have said there's a Mr. Mime hiding over by Jitters..."

"I don't wanna. Want Bar." Cisco muttered, regretting letting the two into his room. Charles and Erik glanced at each other. Charles sighed and spoke up.

"There's nothing you can do. I mean, short of following him to Harvard, but who wants to go to law school? Dull, serious people."

But Barry had wanted serious. Was that the answer?

"I know what I'll do!" Cisco exclaimed, bolting up in bed. It was the most alive he'd looked in days.

"What?" Charles and Erik asked in unison.

"I need to go to Harvard and get Barry back!"

 


	2. Chapter 2

"You want to go to Harvard Law?" His advisor asked him.

"Yeah." Cisco replied, enthusiastically.

"Harvard. Law?"

"Harvard Law."

"But your major is in graphic design? With a concentration in video game design?"

Cisco shrugged. "Plenty of law students don't have traditional majors. Won't that help me stand out? Besides, I have a 4.0 GPA."

"In graphic design." The advisor sighed, and ruffled through his file. "I suppose it's not impossible. Of course, you'll need at least a 174 on the LSAT; the excellent recommendation letters and admissions essays are implied." She handed him a paper with admission requirements. "Good luck."

Cisco beamed. "I won't need it. It shouldn't be too hard."

* * *

 

It was hard. Day in, day out, night after night, Cisco stayed in, studying for the LSAT (he needed how few points away from a perfect score?). He didn't go to the _Star Trek_ premiere ( _The third ones suck anyway_ , he tried to console himself), willingly missed out on his friend's annual Mario Kart tourney, and completely missed the deadline for his university's design competition. But it was all for a worthy cause; he was going to get Barry back.

"Laird thinks that pure research provides us with new technologies that contribute to saving lives. Even more worthwhile than this, however, is its role in expanding our knowledge and providing new, unexplored ideas. Kim thinks that Laird's priorities are mistaken. Saving lives is what counts most of all. Without pure research, medicine would not be as advanced as it is. Laird and Kim disagree on weather pure research..." Charles prompted. If Cisco wanted that perfect score, he would have to tighten up his logical reasoning.

"Um, something about the purpose?" Cisco attempted. Charles shook his head.

"Not exactly in the scope of the answers."

Cisco sighed. "So what are they?"

"Derives its significance in part from its providing new technologies, expands the boundaries of our knowledge of medicine, should have the saving of human lives as an important goal, has its most valuable achievements in medical applications, or has any value apart from its role in providing new technologies to save lives."

Cisco groaned. "The last one. About value." Charles shook his head.

"Has its most valuable achievements in medical applications." He slammed the LSAT prep book closed. "Look, Cisco, it's two in the morning, you should get some sleep. We've been going on for five hours; the exam isn't that long." He paused, thinking. "Is it?"

Cisco sighed and buried his head in his hand. "No, but I need to brace for the exhaustion." He straightened up his posture and leaned his chair back. "Why am I actually doing this?"

Charles stood up and clapped Cisco on the back. "Because you're trying to score with your one true love. I'm going to bed; you can join me." He took a few steps to his room. "In, like, the act of sleeping, not like, joining _me in bed_... I'm just making it weirder, aren't I?"

Cisco smirked. "You're no good when you're tired."

Charles rolled his eyes and grinned. "Neither are you. Now get some sleep."

* * *

Cisco nervously hovered his finger over the "submit" button. Once he hit it, he'd know how well he did. His entire future with Barry hinged on the three numbers that would pop up at the end. If not Harvard, then what?

 _Nothing to lose_ , he thought, and clicked the button.

And stared at the screen.

That was impossible.

He needed 174.

_He got 179._

_He was going to Harvard. He was going to win back his Care Bar._

He was going to have to hold in his excitement, lest the testing center decide he was being a "distraction" and thulsy invalidate his scores.

* * *

"Hey, Cisco?" Erik poked his head around the door.

"Yeah?" Cisco replied, pausing the episode of _Mr. Robot_ he was watching.

"This came for you." Erik threw an envelope next to Cisco.

In the upper left corner, Cisco noticed a logo: _Harvard Law School._

"Oh shit." Cisco was suddenly aware of both Charles and Erik waiting in the doorway. Sure, he did well enough on the rest of his application, but there was something so real about holding the letter in his hand. "Do I... do I open it?"

The other two quickly chimed "YES!"

The silence in the room was thick enough to cut with a butter knife. Cisco looked up, a grin on his face.

"I'm moving to the East Coast!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Urgh, why are so many people sighing? It's like Twilight all up in this joint.  
> 2\. I may have gotten elements of the LSAT wrong; I'm basing some of the information off of the source material (2001), some off my experience taking the GRE, some off my friend's experience taking the LSAT (the latter two happened earlier this year). "Couldn't you just double check against Harvard's current prerequisites and the LSAT website?" You ask. "Rude," I reply. I'm going to claim artistic license and the fact that this is basically glorified crackfic. I'm not to certain about the "glorified" qualifier; I'm pretty sure the only thing that separates this from typical crack is the presence of a plotline. If you were reading this to hear thoroughly about Cisco's LSAT prep and taking, than, well, that's incredibly specific and I'm sorry to have disappointed you.


	3. Chapter 3

_The Harvard Variations_

"Jefferson Jackson, but most people call me Jax. I already have advanced degrees in medicine, physics, post modern music, literature, and geology, so I thought, why not law? Some people say that Stephen Hawking stole his _Brief History of Time_ from an essay I wrote... in third grade."

"Jay Garrick. My family was overthrown in a pesky little revolution. After this stint in your country, I seek to return to the ruling class. Hopefully, this degree will allow me some sort of legitimacy through approval of the people, which seems to be popular over here."

"Linda Park. Dual undergrad in women's studies and journalism. My previous internships have been helping women in third world countries seek refuge against their abusive family members. I also spent five consecutive summers doing clerical work overseas at refugee camps to ensure medical shipments arrived and were distributed on time. I intend to use my degree to provide international aide to those countries whose citizens cannot speak for themselves."

"Cisco Ramon, I'm looking for Intro Criminal Law with Professor Stein, and, more importantly, Barry Allen?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was part of a larger chapter, and then it was on its own, and then it was part of a larger chapter, and then on its own, and so on and so forth until I decided I liked it on its own better.


	4. Chapter 4

Cisco was pointed towards one of the many elaborate buildings on campus. This was it. This was where he was going to run into the love of his life again, and win his Care Bear back. But first he had to sit in on Intro to Criminal Law. And then Case Precedents. Out of all the classes to enroll in, those were the only two he could manage to take with Barry; technically, he wasn't supposed to see the roster, but a bit of empty flirting with the girl at the registrar's desk could get you pretty far. Compounded with the fact that he wanted to win back his true love? Success.

And now he stood outside the lecture hall, ready to win.

He quickly spotted Barry on the edges of the crowd outside the door. Cisco quickly busied himself with his schedule. This was it. This was his chance to show Barry how serious he was.

"Pardon me, is this-- Oh my God, Barry?"

Barry turned white. "Cisco? What-- what are you doing here? Did you follow me to Harvard?"

Cisco laughed. "What? No, of course not! I go here too, silly?"

"You got in to Harvard Law?"

"What, like it's hard?"

Barry looked dumbfounded for a few seconds, before pointing to the door. "I'm going to go ahead and go in?" Poor Barry had clearly been taken off guard, and Cisco decided to give him some space.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll just be another couple of minutes," he said, busying himself with a nearby information board. One of the flyers advertised The Thawne Internship; Cisco debated if he should make note of the information. Internships were serious, right?

Once he was confident that Barry had been given enough space, Cisco made his way into the classroom. Barry had already taken a seat in the back; he was surrounded by other students and seemed to be talking to a girl. Classic Barry, always so friendly. Cisco decided to sit near the front, in one of the few open seats.

Soon, Professor Stein entered, and began writing on the board.

"'Law is reason free from passion.' Anyone want to wager a guess as to who said that?"

A student's hand quickly popped up. Stein nodded to him.

"Aristotle."

Stein considered the answer. "Good guess. Would you bet your life on it?" The student paused.

"Yes."

"Would you bet your _client's_ life on it?"

A longer, more hesitant pause, and then... "No."

"Shame. You would have won your case. Now, reason free from passion. Obviously, Aristotle means that we must consider the facts of a case in order to make our decisions, rather than letting our emotions get involved. You can imagine how a lawyer who believes woman should remain, as the phrase goes, 'barefoot and pregnant' would be a poor choice to handle a domestic abuse case. His decisions would be easily clouded by his opinions. Of course, this does not mean we should not have passions and opinions; rather, it means we should leave them at the door when we go into the courtroom. In the words of Joe Friday, who I do believe is outside of your cultural bubble, 'Just the facts, m'am.' And with that, out of the frying pan and into the fryer, as they say." Stein looked at a class roster. "Mr. Ramon, would you care to summarize the case of Wayne vs. Kent?"

Cisco glanced around, hoping there was another Mr. Ramon in the class. One who knew there was assigned reading.

"Mr. Francisco Ramon?"

...Crap.

Cisco raised his hand tentatively. "I, uh, didn't know there was reading?"

Murmurs from the class, before Stein digressed. "Well, this is a democratic society, so we'll have a democratic class. For today, anyway. Now, most people want their lawyers or doctors or professors or even plumbers to be caught up on cases and research before hiring them. If not, they get fired. There is no assigned reading in the real world, Mr. Ramon. Now, I think an equivalent to being fired would be being asked to leave my class until you can discuss cases." Another glance at the roster. "Ms. West, what shall we do with Mr. Ramon?"

"I think he should be asked to leave." Cisco looked behind him, to the girl that Barry was sitting beside.

"Very well. Mr. Ramon." Stein gestured to the door.

Cisco left, trying not to be in a huff. He collapsed on a bench near the outside of the building. Maybe he could snag Barry on his way out.

"Rough day?" Another student had noticed Cisco in his funk and sat next to him. Cisco glanced up. The stranger wasn't bad looking. Maybe he could make Barry jealous?

No. Bad idea. Barry wouldn't try something so petty with him.

"Who expects people to do reading on the first day of class? And just kicks them out because some frigid bitch says she thinks they should be kicked out? Like, is this your definition of democratic? One singular person agrees with you so you kick someone out?" He unloaded. Poor stranger. Just trying to be polite, and now he gets to hear all of Cisco's bad day.

The stranger looked sympathetic.

"Let me guess: Stein?"

Cisco nodded, dumbfounded. "How did you-"

"He likes to do that every year. Shows he has authority in his classroom, or something. Who else do you have? It's my last year, I might be able to give you some pointers?" Cute, sympathetic, AND nice? If Cisco wasn't so in love with Barry, he'd be tempted to make a move.

"Um, them," Cisco replied, handing the stranger his schedule. The stranger read over it, and laughed.

"Strange bunch you've got there. No one too bad, though. As long as you want to put in the effort. Oh, read the footnotes for Palmer, it's where he draws all of his test questions from. Oh, don't sit in the front row for Eiling, he spits a lot. And you'll want to do well in Thawne's class, his internship is _really_ competitive. Mind you-"

"Barry!" Cisco exclaimed, cutting the stranger off mid-thought. It appeared Stein's class had just gotten out, and Cisco was ready to reconnect with Barry. "Sorry, it's my... it's complicated. Thank you though! Good luck with your last year!" he said, grabbing his schedule back. He barely heard the stranger say "Bye," before he ran off, seeing Barry talk to that horrible woman from earlier.

 _Good_ , Cisco thought. _I'll bet he's giving her hell for messing with me. He's a good boyfriend._

"Barry! We have to finish that conversation we were having earlier." Barry looked at Cisco, and then at the awful woman. Cisco, than woman. Cisco, woman. Cisco, woman.

"Cisco, um, this is Iris," he said, after the most awkward five minutes of the three's collective lives.

"Yes, I know, anyway, as I was saying..."

"Iris is my--"

"--I'm his fiancee," Iris interrupted, putting her left hand on Barry's shoulder. On it was his grandmother's ring.

The ring that was supposed to be Cisco's.

Cisco felt the blood drain out of his face.

"We can talk later," he said. His next class wasn't for a few hours; he had to get away in the meanwhile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know when I'll next get five minutes to myself, so enjoy!


	5. Chapter 5

Cisco stood outside the building, a lump in his throat. He knew what he had to do. He had come all this way for Barry; he wasn’t going to give up. Still, the ring as he opened the door sent waves of sadness through him. Just because he had to do this didn’t mean he wanted to.

“Excuse me, do you have any open stylists? I think it’s time for a trim,” he said to the lady at the front desk of the salon. She held out a clipboard to him.

“Sign in here; I think Catlin can see a walk in.”

Cisco had a few minutes to sit and peruse chintzy gossip magazines before hearing his name called. He looked up and saw a quite average woman, pale with mousy hair, not timid but not the world’s most bold, waiting for him. She wasn’t what he was expecting (he didn’t know what he was expecting), but she’d get the job done.

“What are we doing today?” She asked as soon as Cisco was situated.

“Iwantitcutoff.” Cisco had spoken too quickly; Catlin squeaked and turned her head, awaiting a clearer response. “I want it cut off.”

Catlin gasped at this request. “But it’s so lovely! Thick! And no split ends! This is the greatest hair I’ve ever seen, why do you want it gone?”

Cisco sighed; if his hands weren’t hidden by the barber’s cape, he would have buried his head in them. And then he unloaded on poor Catlin. “I only came to this stupid school to get my boyfriend back, but then he went and got engaged, to some rude _girl_ , because I guess I wasn’t _serious_ enough, unless what he was really looking for was straight, but I really don’t think that was the case, and I got kicked out of class for a stupid reason, I mean, who assigns reading for the first day of class, and that witch Barry got engaged to had to be the one to suggest kicking me out, but I can still win him back, but only if I’m serious, and maybe this is the one thing keeping me from being serious.”

Catlin… took all of this in stride quite well. Cisco was probably not the first client she’s had in near hysterics. “Look, I’m not the kind to advocate breaking up a couple, but if that’s what you have your mind on…” Catlin was distracted by the ringing of the salon’s bell. A robust voice called out, “Hello, ladies!” Upon hearing this voice, Catlin, once again, squeaked.

Cisco turned his head towards the receptionist, and saw… well, if his heart wasn’t set on Barry, he’d say he saw the sexiest UPS worker he had ever seen. Actually, Barry was engaged, so Cisco saw the sexiest UPS worker he had ever seen. The receptionist directed Sexy UPS Guy to Catlin’s area.

“I’ve got a package for Ms. Catlin Snow?” UPSex Guy said upon arrival, holding out a stylus. Catlin, as her response was to everything, squeaked. Poor girl was entirely frozen.

“Catlin, he has a… package,” Cisco prompted. Honestly, the sooner this was over with, the sooner he could get his hair cut, the sooner he could seduce Barry with seriousness. Catlin continued to not respond. “Actually, do you mind if I?”

“Oh, no, go ahead.” UPSex Guy broke from his trancelike eyelock with Catlin to hand Cisco the pad and stylus. Cisco signed, and UPSex Guy literally tipped his hat and waved to Catlin before leaving.

“What just happened?” Cisco asked.

Catlin sighed. “The same thing that happens every week! He comes in, I freeze up, someone else has to sign for my delivery.”

“Oh, come on, he was totally into you!” Maybe this was stretching the truth a bit. Maybe Cisco wanted to get his hair cut off before he had time to second guess himself.

Catlin scoffed at this. “Please, he’s gorgeous. Why would he be interested in a divorcee who barely makes minimum wage and can’t even get her dog back?” She pulled a framed photo of herself and a quite large dog, both dressed in sailor costumes, from one of her shelves. “We were supposed to do another glamor shot, but Jay won’t give her back.” She sighed. “Anyhow, your problem. No rash decisions, it’s my one rule. Can’t tell you how many broken hearted law students I’ve saved from doing something truly atrocious, like glitter undercuts. So, we’ll do a shampoo today, I have a conditioner that you’ll just love, get you an appointment in a couple of weeks, and see if you still feel the same, okay?”

It was Cisco’s turn to sigh. “Okay, but, quid pro quo. I’ll do it your way if you promise to at least get the UPS guy’s name, okay?” Catlin gave a cheeky grin.

“One step ahead of you. It’s Ronnie. Now, do Tuesdays usually work for you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I'm too lazy to look up how to insert links, so bear with)  
> Number 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7nzml-zZ9M  
> Number 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5UXEeZInnw  
> Number 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjJe1rBdm9U  
> So I'm finally done with grad school applications, which means I finally get time to write things that aren't why I'm motivated to pursue a career in research, which means fingers crossed that this will be finished by New Year's.  
> Also, personal note: I think glitter undercuts are pretty af; they were just the first trendy haircut that came to mind. I didn't want to insult any particular hairstyle, I just wanted to give Catlin a moment similar to the tattoo artist who won't tattoo drunk people. After all, can any of us stand to see what would happen if Cisco did cut his hair?


	6. Chapter 6

The trip to the salon did not leave Cisco with the pep that he wanted. This pep was further diminished in his next class, which he had with Barry... and Iris. The two sat in front of him, Iris rubbing Barry's shoulder periodically, showing off her engagement ring in the process. Thankfully, this stopped immediately with the entrance of Professor Thawne.

  
"Many of you will at some point hear a comparison; lawyers are like sharks." This statement was met with tentative laughter from a few members of the class. "Yes, laugh now, but it's true. Good lawyers, at least, have a certain toughness about them; they recognize everything is an argument, a competition of sorts. With that in mind, in this class you will not only be competing for an A, but also a spot interning at my law firm. Almost everyone in the class applies; four will make it. Hartley, any advice?"

  
"Speak up and turn in your applications on time," responded a voice from the back of the room. The class turned, and Cisco recognized the handsome upperclassman from earlier.

  
"Hartley Rathaway, one of my current interns and your TA for this class," Thawne introduced. "Now, to the lecture. Would you rather have a client who committed an act malum in se or malum prohibitum," Thawne paused and checked the class roster, "Mr. Ramon?"

  
_Great, twice in one day,_ Cisco thought. And again, another class that assigned reading for the first day. Unless...  
"Neither," Cisco responded.

  
Thawne tilted his head. "Interesting. Why?"

  
"Well, I'd rather have a client who was innocent." More titters from the class, and a grin from Thawne.

  
"Wouldn't we all?" Another glance at the roster. "Ms. West, any thoughts on the original question?"

  
Iris turned to look at Cisco, and smirked. "Malum prohibitum," she responded, facing front once more. "Because they would have committed an act that is prohibited, or unlawful by statute, as opposed to an act that is evil in itself."

  
Thawne nodded. "Good. So, in the case of Woods v O'Brien..."

  
Cisco raised his hand. "Professor?"

  
Thawne looked up. "Yes?"

  
"I changed my mind." Cisco looked down, glaring at Iris. "I'd take the dangerous one, because I'm not afraid of a challenge."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, I am not good at this whole chaptered fic thing, am I? :/  
> Anyhow, to respond to several comments at once, yes, I am aware that Professors Stein and Callahan share an actor, but the characterizations were different enough that I hated the plot if I made that reference in the story (did that make sense out loud?) So, Stein takes a backseat minor role and Thawne takes over the Callahan role.


	7. Chapter 7

It was supposed to get better. He knew it was supposed to get better. Everything got better, dammit. But the classes got harder, cases got more complex, and Cisco was beginning to regret his decision. Worse of all, Barry had started wedding planning. Cisco could swear that Iris was loudly planning in the minutes before lectures began just to spite him. Cisco had nothing except studying, and he didn't even know why he bothered putting in so much effort. _Barry is worth it_ , he reminded himself. _Barry is worth it._

But the months passed, and soon it was October. Cisco could hardly remember the last time Halloween had passed without being commemorated with a party. But Harvard was surely different, if the lack of start of term socials was anything to go by. Which was why Cisco was surprised when he heard party planning, just outside his dorm. Hoping for mercy, Cisco stuck his head out.

"No way, people around here actually-" he was greeted by the notorious mug of Iris West, "-party?"

Iris glared. Any hope Cisco had of doing something other than reading about weird cases involving sperm donors and custodial rights went out the window. And then.

"Yeah. But it's a costume party. You probably wouldn't want to come."

Cisco knew he was being baited. A "let him down easy" deal. But, if Iris would be there, so would Barry. And if Barry was  there, than the grounds were ripe for seduction. "Actually, I love costume parties."

Surprisingly, Iris smiled. There was no malcontent behind the smile, which alarmed Cisco. But he was probably reading too much in to it. Surely, this was just Iris extending an olive branch? "Great! 27 Evergreen Terrace. Starts at nine. See you there!"

* * *

 

It was not a costume party. Cisco felt humiliated, which he realized was Iris's intent all along. He looked over to where she was sitting; she was looking at him, laughing at him. Leaving would mean she won. The only thing he could think of was finding Barry and trying one more time.

He found Barry attempting to play pool, another student (Linda, he thought her name was?) talking his ear off.

"It just shows a preference to semen over ovaries, which is why I'm petitioning for all future Spring sessions to be called the Spring OV-esters and… oh my God." Welp. He had been spotted by Linda. Barry looked up, and Cisco noticed a faint blush creep across his face. _So far, so good._ Cisco put on his biggest, brightest, beauty queen smile and walked over.

"Barry! How crazy is it running into you here!" Cisco tried to ignore the expressions on the people around him, as much as he wanted to tell Linda(?) that she should pick her jaw off the floor before it got stuck there.

"Cisco… I… um… I don't think… was that costume meant for men?"

"Well, I mean, the concept of Sexy Captain Cold is fairly unisex, since it's based on a man and all…"

The silence hung in the air for far longer than necessary. Barry finally stood up.

"How are your classes going? I mean, they're hard enough for me, and I was pre-law, I can't imagine what they must be like for you."

Cisco tried to ignore the implications of Barry's question. Poor Barry; not always the brightest bulb, he probably didn't realize that he was being condescending. "Oh, yeah, it's a lot, like I can't even imagine doing this and Thawne's internship next semester…"

"You're going out for Thawne's internship?" Barry said. Or at least that's what Cisco assumed he said; it came out so quickly he only caught a few words.

"Yeah…"

"But isn't that a little out of your league?"

Oh.

Oh.

OH.

Try as he might, Cisco couldn't shake the fact that Barry didn't believe in Cisco. Well, if that's how Barry felt about him…

"I'm sorry, have I been sniffing glue? Did we not get into the same school? Did we not take the same LSATs?" Barry opened his mouth, but Cisco stopped him. "No, no, you had your chance. I'm just never going to be good enough for you, am I?" Cisco turned and walked straight out the door, ignoring Barry's cries of protest. All the same, he couldn't shake the thoughts. _Now what? Do I leave? Do I keep going? Do I show Barry I'm good enough for him? Do I let him go? Do I…_

Cisco's thoughts were interrupted by a cough. He looked in its direction and saw Hartley the Hot TA sitting on an apartment patio. "You look like you've been having an interesting evening."

Cisco suddenly realized exactly how little fabric Sexy Captain Cold was wearing, and suddenly realized exactly how cold he was. He tried to pull his parka over his legs, but somehow that just made everything worse?

"Do you… want a pair of pants?" Hartley asked, seeming to sense Cisco's quickly rising embarrassment.

"Yes."

Hartley smiled, trying to be comforting. "Come on in; I think I have a pair of sweatpants that might fit you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm the actual worst. I've just had a lot of personal shit to deal with; I don't have a good excuse for this not being finished yet. Not much else to say; just an update and an apology. If you've been sticking with me thus far, thank you; the ride may be a bit longer.


	8. Chapter 8

"So, if you don't mind me asking, what on Earth inspired this turn of events?"

Cisco sighed. Hartley had rightly guessed that Cisco was from a warmer climate, and wasn't doing particularly well in the Boston cold. Cisco was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't realize it, but felt much better wearing pants and having a mug of tea in Hartley's apartment.

"Love," he responded, sighing. Hartley raised an eyebrow, prompting Cisco to go on.

"Well, it started when my boyfriend broke up with me. Like, he took me to the greatest restaurant in town to break up with me, and I'm thinking he's going to propose, and I probably should've realized then he was a douche-" Oh. Cisco had never called Barry a douche before. "-but I didn't. The only thing I knew was that he didn't think I was 'serious' enough to be seen in public with the respected lawyer he wanted to be. I thought that maybe if he saw me in law school with him, he'd realize that I am serious, and I am husband material, but no, no, he had to go get engaged, to some girl, because I guess 'not serious enough' and 'too gay' mean the same thing to him, and I was stupid enough to think that I could win him back," Cisco unloaded. It felt lie the first time he realized a lot of things about Barry. Hartley… didn't look like he appreciated the soul searching Cisco had just done.

"You WHAT?"

"I…"

"You got into LAW SCHOOL to try to WIN your BOYFRIEND BACK?"

"Well, when you put it that way…"

"Your STRAIGHT boyfriend?"

Cisco bristled at this. "He wasn't straight when we were dating…"

"They never are!" Hartley was fuming.

"Look, I think it would be better if I left…" Cisco stood. He pointed to his (well, Hartley's) pants. "Do you want these back now, or…" Hartley glared at him.

"Sit back down." Cisco obeyed the order. They sat in silence, before Hartley finally spoke.

"My parents kicked me out when I turned eighteen. I think they would have done it the second I came out at fifteen, but that's technically neglect, and they didn't want the scandal. I put myself through college, and not a nice college either. I haven't stopped working my ass off in ages, and that's on top off all the hours I've put in to be top of my class consistently. I earned my perfect LSAT score. Harvard offered me a full tuition scholarship. I'm the only person in ten years to continue working for Thawne after getting his internship; I'm the only person whose done the internship that he _still wants around_. Because everything I do, I give 110%. You didn't even want to go to law school until a year ago." He leaned back in his chair. "Well, maybe this is a good thing. After all, the weak weed themselves out."

 

Oh. Maybe that's what it was. Cisco just wasn't actually cut out for law school. I mean, if he wasn't going to be doing it for Barry, than who was he doing it for? The sensible thing would be to drop out now and cut his losses, right? No. Hell no. It was bad enough hearing it from Barry, Cisco wasn't going to let this dick who barely knew him tell him anything.

Cisco stood, taking his loaner pants off and throwing them on the floor. "Fuck this! Maybe I don't have a tragic backstory or daddy's money or whatever the rest of you Hah-vahd people have. Fuck that! I got in here, didn't I? And I got in here without all the pre-law bullshit! I did in a year what everyone else on this campus has put their lives to! Why am I bothering with people like you? I'm at least as good as anyone else here!" Cisco stormed to the door. He was about to leave, when he heard clapping. He turned around to see Hartley grinning and applauding.

"That's the spirit. Feel that drive? That need to prove yourself? Keep it. Hold on to it. It's your armor; you know you're as good as, or even better than, everyone here, but they don't care. It's cutthroat, and if you were just here to impress a boy, you would have been out on your ass a long time ago. You're still here. You know what, Cisco?" Hartley had moved; he was now standing right next to Cisco. "Whoever this ex-boyfriend is, I think you're better than him. You don't deserve him." Hartley handed Cisco the pants he was wearing earlier. "Keep these, for now. I barely wear them anyway." He leaned over and opened the door. "Kick ass!" He called as Cisco walked away. Nevertheless, there was still one thought on Cisco's mind.

_What the hell just happened?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have this love-hate relationship with "Chip on My Shoulder" from the musical. On one hand, I love that Emmett gets backstory and think it introduces the Emmett/Elle romance that came on a bit suddenly in the movie, but on the other, I feel it takes some of Elle's agency away; she does everything more or less on her own in the movie but has Emmett coaching her in the musical. We'll see if I was able to strike a balance in this fic.


	9. Chapter 9

The rest of the semester rivaled the time Cisco spent trying to get admitted in to Harvard. The texts were dense, the writing was intense, and he still felt like he was in over his head during discussions. But, it was fueled by a new passion. If being better than Barry was the only way to get his respect, then so be it. So Cisco read and wrote and bought 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner so he would have more time to read and write. Everything was brutal and exhausting and Cisco could only hope it would be worth it one day.

He had his chance in one of Thawne’s lectures.

It was a discussion on family law, namely if a sperm donor had the right to contact his offspring. Barry was arguing the case for.

“Simply put, without Mr. Smith’s sperm, the child would not exist. He should have some opportunity to contact his offspring. ”

Thawne nodded. “So, with the precedence of Luther vs. Luther… yes, Mr. Ramon?”

_Thawne likes students to speak up. Thawne likes students to speak up_. Against his better judgement, but remembering the advice Hartley had given him all those months ago, Cisco had raised his hand. “Did Smith keep record of his sexual encounters?” The class responded with a smattering of laughter.

Thawne cocked his head. “Interesting. Why do you feel this is pertinent?”

Cisco swallowed. He could hear the blood rushing in his ears. “Well, if the defendant wasn’t contacting every one night stand, every clinic patient to see if a child resulted, than this would be out of the ordinary. He’s picking and choosing which sperm get his attention; what’s so important about this sperm?” Cisco paused, considering what he said. “Additionally, was it established how he found out about this offspring? Because he’s either directly interfering or exploiting a massive HIPPA violation on the clinic’s part, neither of which look good for him.”

Thawne considered Cisco’s points. “Mr. Ramon, I believe you just won your case.”

The rest of the lecture passed in a blur. Cisco thought he would be riding that high all day, until…

“Mr. Ramon, a moment?” Crap. Thawne had pulled him aside as he was leaving. “Mr. Ramon, have you submitted your résumé for my internship?”

_What._ Cisco had debated applying, but every time he went to class, he would be discouraged. Everyone else was so much more put together than he was; why should he bother applying to something he didn’t have a chance for?

“Um, no, I haven’t, but I think I have a copy on me?” he said, digging around in his bag. _Please don’t be wrinkled, please don’t be wrinkled, please don’t be torn in half, please don’t be wrinkled…_ “Oh! Here it is! Sorry, kept meaning to turn this in to you, but it kept slipping my mind.” _Please don’t see through the obvious lie, please don’t see through the obvious lie, please don’t interpret the obvious lie as condescending to you and your work, please don’t see through the obvious lie…_

If Thawne thought anything of the lie, it didn’t show in his grin. “Thank you, Mr. Ramon. Have a good afternoon.”

Cisco squeaked out a “Thanks, you too!” and hurried out.

_What the hell just happened?  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I've been trying to get everything I need to do done this weekend before my depression realizes it's taken a few days off, so there will be an influx of work over the next few hours (to be fair, I also need to work on a PhD first year project proposal, but oh my God, I can only write about paclitaxel for so long, fam). Unfortunately, this isn't going to be the greatest fic I've ever written, but I'll be okay with that. My New Year's resolution is to at least finish it, and I'm pretty sure we're halfway there. I am pretty hammering everything out because I do want to get it done, which is going to impact my editing, so if you notice any typos/mistakes/inconsistencies (within reason; "That's not how the legal system works!" would, in most cases, imho, require a redrafting of the entire chapter at best and fic at worth, so I'm claiming artistic license), holla.


	10. Chapter 10

News spreads quickly. Within the first week of the next semester, Thawne had posted who his interns were. Whispered conversations were everywhere.

“This soon? I thought it was supposed to be a summer internship?”

“Yeah, but apparently Thawne’s law firm got a hot new case; he's keeping it under wraps but apparently it's big enough to warrant interns.”

“So who are the interns?”

Cisco had just arrived at the posting. Naturally, he wasn’t the only one.

“Barry! Look! Both of us, we made it!” Iris West’s eternally perky voice had a spot, and it appeared Barry would be an intern as well. Ignoring the two’s PDA, Cisco pushed through the crowd. Looking at the board, he noticed three names: Barry Allen, Iris West, and Linda Park, leaving the final spot for…

“ME!” He exclaimed. Surely enough, _Cisco Ramon_ was written in 12-point Times New Roman, alongside the other three names. He earned a coveted Thawne internship. Walking away, he noticed Barry and Iris had finally separated. He walked up to them.

“Congratulations you two. Looks like we’ll be working together. Oh, and Barry? This is so much better than those 4 hours we spent in the hot tub together last spring break.” Cisco smiled at them, and turned abruptly to walk away. For now, Iris’s disbelieving “4 hours?” was all the satisfaction he needed.

.....

The first case briefing was... awkward at best. Iris kept glaring at Cisco, Barry looked confused and apologetic, and Linda looked like the prestige was the only reason she didn’t quit the internship out of contempt for her coworkers. Ignoring the underlying tensions, Thawne introduced the case.

“As some of you may have heard, we are the defense team for a Doctor Harrison Wells. Dr. Wells has been arrested on the suspicion of murdering his second wife, a Tracy Brand. His daughter, Jessie, alleges that...”

“Wait,” Cisco interrupted. He was sure the name sounded familiar. “H.R. Wells? The sci-fi author?”

Thawne looked at the file. “Harrison Randolph Wells, author, yes, I believe so. As I was saying, his daughter alleges that she saw him standing over Brand’s body, his hands covered in assumedly her blood. Now, Brand was stabbed multiple times, and Wells claims that his hands were bloody because he was trying to keep pressure on the wounds. So far, our case is hinging on the weapon in question not having been found.” The door clicked open, and Thawne looked up. “Everyone, Hartley Rathaway; you may have seen him on campus being my eyes and ears.” Thawne looked back at the file. “Any way, your assignments are on your agendas. Mostly taking statements, but some paperwork here and there. Meetings are as scheduled. Any questions?” The room was quiet; Cisco tried to get away with waving at Hartley. Hartley either ignored him or didn’t notice.

“Good. Dismissed.”


End file.
